The Big Brother (before battle)
<We're fending them off somehow, but...>
That ship in the middle sure is eye-catching.
Things are usually that gaudy for a reason, you know?
...! Uh... oh...
T-that guy, standing there at the center...
Rodya rarely ever showed this much fear and anxiety.
<That weird guy up there? He's been posing like that over there ever since this whole mess started.>
Posing? That's not what I'm talking about, Dante...
Don't you recognize his tattoos? He's...
Hmph. A B.B. of the Middle.
What's... a B**ch Brother...?
... I think she meant 'Big Brother'...?
…!
…….
<…….>
<Sorry about bringing this up now, but...>
<What's... the Middle?>
<Just a mere mention, or a mere sight of them alone seems to... shock and intimidate a lot of people. Remember how they pretty much traumatized Pilot?...>
I heard that, the Fingers, which the Middle is a part of...
... are... on a completely different level from your average Syndicates. I've never met any of them face-to-face before, but...
No. People like us... We're never supposed to meet them like this.
We're all going to be F.U.B.A.R.
Time for my one last cig. This is a good day to die, isn't it?
<... Ryōshū, even you...?>
... If a trial must be weathered, we will weather it with dignity and tenacity, Dante.
All right. How was the warmup?
Big Bro's givin' y'all time for a warmup! Appreciate it!
<He's wearing Sunglasses? In this gloomy weather...?>
All hands. Prepare for battle.
Executive Manager, this battle... this foe... will not be like any other we have encountered before. Under such dire circumstances, ensuring the safety of the commanding officer has to be our primary objective.
Please, find a safe place to hide. Make sure to stay out of his sight...
Boring. Didn't think you would take this long for a warm-up.
Let us negotiate! If you're seeking to negotiate... we're more than ready to listen.
Negotiate with a villain such as he...? How...
Well, looks like we're the ones begging for our lives now...
I-I didn't think that a Big Brother of the Middle would be here, in person...
Yeah. But I am.
So... In all those years I've spent as a part of the Middle...
I had this ONE iron rule that I never broke.
... Until today, that is.
Your raid of my personal safe has forced my hand!
Hot damn... Unbelievable! What awful mind thinks of doin' something so heinous...?
... What? Ain't this about what happened back at the Twinhooks' club?
A bulky, ancient book hung from his waist, secured in place by thick chains. He lifted it with his hand.
So here on this day, I declare your sins, o guilty ones.
Your unforgivable sins...!
Look, we had a little kerfuffle with Ms. Smee, but...
... Your subordinate, she... remains safe and unharmed.
W-wait, no! Stop -
......
Smee? Who's that?
Oh, uh... whisper, whisper...
<... No way. He didn't know...?>
... My interjection may have been unnecessary.
Well then... uh, okay. Let's see... With that sin piled on top...
The Big Brother began flipping through the pages, taking time to wet his fingers...
That's 'The Book of Vengeance'. Once your name's written on that book... F.U.B.A.R is also written into your fate. Hilarious. So hilarious that I might go mad... Ha ha.
Listen. We live in a binary world. The world that is luscious... and the world that is bristly. Are you aware of their differences?
Silence.
The urge to blurt out "what the hell are you talking about?" was palpable, yet it was suppressed by an unknown, incredibly patient, force.
The luscious...
Is what flows and wraps gently around your hand when your fingers comb through it...
And the bristly... is what roughly stabs and pokes out between your fingers.
Patience, perseverance, and a delicate pair of talented hands are crucial to becoming the most luscious that one can be.
<…….>
Do you understand?
Do you understand now, the incredible amount of effort that goes into maintaining this hair in the right shape and the perfect lusciousness?
There once was a coupon. A coupon to get the coveted personal hands-on hair care...
... from the director of a top-level luxury hair salon on one of the richest ports of U Corp., the Stingray Portship! Continuously, for FIVE HOURS!
It is said that, with that coupon, anyone could enter the world of the luscious! And anyone with a coupon had the privilege of an appointment-free visit!
<…….>
Oh.
<So... we're being accused of taking his... coupons for a hair salon?>
So when you called him a B**ch Brother...
I meant that he can be a real Bitch to get rid of once you piss him off.
Damnit... We should've steered clear of these bastards...
They were to be my first steps into the world of the luscious.
Yet, the coupon thief...
... has left me stranded indefinitely in the world of the bristly...
Behold. Behold the testament to your heinous sins.
The Big Brother tossed a piece of paper before us.
On it was... a picture.
<... Heathcliff?>
I-I didn't know the safe was his! Look! It's got colorful kitty stickers on it! You've got to be absolutely barmy to assume that it's the safe of the Middle's Big Brother, right?!
Everyone has... different tastes, just like the numerous, colorful Lakes of the Great Lake.
Your blatant lack of respect for diverse, differing tastes will have to be added to the Book of Vengeance as well.
Someone, please shut Heath up before he adds anything more to that book...
Hup...
<Heathcliff... Did you even know who, what, or where these coupons were for?>
Of course not... Bloody hell...
Sob... We are the villains in this tale, then? Have we become naught but little thieving rascals? Wherefore hast thou committed such villainy, Heathcliff...
Thou hast not once given a second look at a hair salon, yet why...
I-I've got my reasons...
There is one good news, however...
The chance of your absolution, even if you were to return the coupons, is infinitesimal. Infinitely close to nil, in fact.
Thus, keeping the coupons will make no difference to the outcome of this encounter, Heathcliff. They are now yours.
The bad news...
... is that we'll all be O.O.F.-ed before Heathcliff even gets the chance to use them...
With his extended, passionate speech coming to an end, the Big Brother of the Middle and Don Quixote both wiped the tears from their eyes.
And the price of your sins...
Uh... Let's see. Title 8, Section 20 says...
On row A... Line 6... Hair Salon Coupons...
<That book has instructions in case someone steals their hair salon coupons?!>
Aha! I've found it.
Complete and total extermination of all involved parties; execute the coupon thief and any and all of their affiliates. Effective immediately.
Hmph. Truly, a B.B.
My name's Ricardo, a Big Brother of the Middle. Let my name be the last thing you remember before you perish. Memories are important, after all.
Ryōshū threw her one last cig to the ground, smoked down to the butt...
Unsatisfying... I'll get a proper luxury cig next time. ... If there is a next time.
And the Big Brother quite literally soared into the air.