Chicken Attack (after battle)

Right, now that that's been all sorted out, why don't we get back to the point, friendly four-eyed stranger?

I must object to such a moniker; especially so when it comes from a fellow glasses-bearer.

O - Oh, is that so… Sorry 'bout that, I guess.

Basic personal information, such as one's identity, can be easily acquired from the registration of one's death.

…Ah, I did neglect to introduce myself. Here's my business card. You may call me Samjo.

Disregarding the growing hostility surrounding him, the man handed us his card straight away.

A K Corp… Affiliate of the Department of Food Resource Development's Research Center…

……

Hah! Thought we'd be fooled by a bunch of big fancy words?

Of course. Persuasion and explanation are where I excel, so please stay calm and listen.

I was most impressed by the feats of your battle just moments ago.

In particular, the instances where you continued to assault your foes in blatant disregard for a dying colleague nearby. A few others even laughed at the sight.

Heh… Friend or foe, those who dare impede must be promptly removed.

Outis replied to his remark with a look full of pride, even though it didn't sound close to a compliment at all.

As you can see, those chickenheads of unknown origin which are occupying this restaurant's front have been causing considerable damage.

…So what?

The venue's manager has also been bedridden until just now.

Another man with a haggard face tottered to us, making it somewhat apparent that Samjo wasn't lying about the restaurant's owner falling ill with worry.

You may speak now.

Erm… So, things've been… Our fryhouse opened up a few months ago just across from Eunbong's Bar & Fryers.

Our franchise offers generous servings of good-tasting food using poultry with a supreme pedigree, so it was natural that we would draw all the customers from Eunbong's.

But one day, out of the blue, the owner of Eunbong's started acting real strange. Losing his customers must've shocked him or somethin', and now he's trying to ruin all of our businesses.

I mean, it's not uncommon for competitors to throw jabs at each other, right -

As if to attest to the restaurant owner's woes, screams echoed from the other side of the street.

Kyaaaugh!!! What the hell!!!

Khh… Ghh… Kagh…

As the supposed owner of Eunbong's swung his arm while muttering something, the chickens responded in unison.

The raw chickens… jumped at people.

…What in the world? Is he commanding the chickens?

That's definitely strange behavior. How spiteful does someone have to be to resort to that kind of stuff…?

I don't know if they're augmented or what, but those plucked and prepped hens would break into the restaurant and destroy things…

And now there's people wearing those chickens on their heads, too… If this keeps up, our restaurant is gonna lose so much money…

Such is his feathery song.

Hmm…

This has been his tear-jerking reflection. Would you be willing to deal with this case?

<That ruffled your feathers, huh, Yi Sang?>

Mrrm…

Tear-jerking or whatever, we still don't take requests from a chicken p -

A lifetime voucher.

Handle this request, and I'll offer you groundbreaking benefit: the right to free orders from this restaurant for the rest of your lives.

A lifetime voucher?! I never heard of such a -

I have even prepared a few free samples for you.

You what?!

Samjo personally distributed pieces of fried chicken that he suddenly had his hands on.

Now now, stand in line and keep things orderly. I've brought samples for different pedigrees, so you're free to pick and choose. Each one comes with a unique brand of tastiness, demonstrating its strengths in differing cuts of meat.

Mmmmh… Must I choose only one flavor to taste? They all appear equal in gustatory greatness…

Let me suggest this, then: Leave the other flavors as something to anticipate for your future meals. It won't be a problem once the lifetime voucher is in your hands.

Oho… Indeed, 'tis an infallible proposition…

It seems Samjo has won the hearts of most of the Sinners with his compelling words and fine poultry samples.

What do you say?

……

This might be the first time I've seen Heathcliff go quiet at someone's words.

That's… not half bad at all…

Hello…? Aren't we supposed to be looking for Golden Boughs, not golden drumsticks? Since when did we -

Didn't you hear him? We're dining on free crispy chicken forever!

It doesn't have limited use, right? It's actually free chickens forever, right? Yeah? Takeout counts too?

Hah, this takes me back to older days. Wonder if anyone remembers it~ Y'know, HamHamPangPang's freshly fried chicken that was totes delish.

I sure do. I'd have a cheeky one with the lads whenever our Syndicate earned a proper lump of dosh.

Ugh, Ms. Faust, can you have them cut the crap already? Shouldn't there be some company clause against fried chicken requests?

Faust was deep in thought by her lonesome.

Alright, we will take your request.

Excuse me?!

This might also be the first time I've seen Ishmael taken aback to this extent.

I'm sorry, Faust… but did you… go out of your mind for a second there?

Yeesh, Ishmael, no need to be so biting there…

It's hard to say. Faust's mind tends to be out there most of the time.

Hahah! Guess we're all right and chummy for once, eh?

<Faust… Are you serious? You're taking a request over free chicken?>

To be more precise… this is to resolve a case of the 'Distortion Phenomenon', Dante.

<Distortion Phenomenon?>

Distortions… What are they?

It is a term I'm sure is unclear to most. Although it has been occurring all around the City, no official announcement of the phenomenon has been made to the general public.

Oh…

To my knowledge, it is a phenomenon where an individual morphs into a form often unfit to be considered "human". It has no known causes, and the appearances were all different.

Hmm… That doesn't make it clear enough. Are they like Abnormalities?

Not exactly, as unlike Abnormalities, they do not shrink into eggs; it is possible for them to fully expire.

I have witnessed a number of cases in the past.

Our company has the LCD, a department housing consultant Fixers dedicated to matters regarding the Distortions. Though its size is small, it nevertheless signifies the company's interest in the phenomenon.

<So the owner of Eunbong's… has… turned into one of those Distortion things?>

That's correct. One does not simply gain the ability to lead an army of raw chickens by losing their mind.

<I see… >

So that's what it's about? Phew… I almost got worried that I might have to knock some sense back into you, Faust.

Is that why you were clutching your mace so tight, Ishmael…?

Rightly so! We must act before this commotion results in any casualty. Ñam-ñam…

Oh? You got sauce on your face, chiquita!

I watched as Rodya wiped Don Quixote's mouth clean.

I'll take that as a yes, and will be waiting for your contact.