The House of Spiders: The Thumb Apprentice Heathcliff's Story

She leans forward, going for the kill. I see it then - imbalance. A split-second opening. Narrow, but an opportunity nonetheless.

It's the only pathway to the impossible future I had imagined tens of thousands of times in my mind...

... the future I had put off time and again, now merely milliseconds away, waiting for me to seize it.

Maybe I can end it now. Maybe this is my chance.

That wandering thought cuts deeply through my psyche. As if possessed by some ghost, I raise my sword arm.

Y-you...

I blink. Before I knew it, the sword in my hand had run through Master's heart.

It wasn't as if I had a momentary burst of determination, no.

My body moved on its own - like a creature flinching and curling up just moments before a brutal thrashing. Only this time, it took the shape of a sword driven outward.

You... you little...! Heathcliff... You... You dare betray me, after everything...?

Her eyes widen, almost bulging out of their sockets with shock and resentment. I look on quietly, trying to capture every last detail as Master screams what will be her last words.

I thought maybe I would feel the urge to pour out my anger on her, laying into her all the resentment I held in my heart. But I find neither there.

Unlike all those times I imagined it, there is no catharsis. No laughter.

Not even the sudden surge of tears welling at the corners of my eyes. Nothing.

Nothing but silence. All that noise in my head, gone. It's so quiet up there that even my heartbeat feels sedate.

... Hah.

Yeah, well... Not a bad hell... to throw yourselves into.

.......

Like an ungrateful hound, I sank my fangs into the jugular of the woman who raised me.

But... this didn't feel like something I'd come to regret down the line.

As to why that might be...

... I suppose I must retrace this tale from the very beginning - starting with Yoshihide, the woman who has brought this hellish scene to the House of Spiders.

The Nursefathers hardly got along amongst themselves.

It did not take long for me to learn as much after my arrival at the House of Spiders.

Master spent most days hurling profanities at the other Nursefathers, and they would always return the favour by shooting demeaning looks at her as she drunkenly stumbled around.

Whenever their look of contempt fell on her (and fall harshly they did), she would snap at me instead, picking apart my behaviour to find the tiniest fault and slapping me across the face.

I used to believe it was a punishment for my lack of "propriety," but...

... Well, it's become rather obvious now that she just needed a punchbag to vent her frustrations on.

.......

Though the Nursefathers were far from fond of each other, there was one exception.

The Nursefather of the Pinky.

They were all careful around her, that woman whose face was always shrouded under a veil.

The Middle Nursefather, whenever she left the House for whatever reason, would never forget to bring fruits or health supplements for the Pinky Nursefather...

... and the Index Nursefather prepared and brought her delicious food every meal, or sometimes sat by the shut door of her room to read her a book.

Even the Ring Nursefather would sometimes hesitate and pace in front of her Corridor, before finally deciding to slip a neatly folded message under the door that he had completed a new piece of art.

My master, the Thumb Nursefather... also seemed to harbour a similar affection for the veiled woman.

The difference was that she did not seem willing to go and see the Pinky Nursefather herself, whether because she could not be bothered to do so or couldn't swallow her own pride.

She'd always send me instead to check in on the Pinky Nursefather and deliver the news back to her.

It was hardly any trouble, but I never liked doing it. It always made my skin crawl, for whatever reason.

... So, she has sent you here again?

Sinclair. See your fellow Apprentice away, if you would.

I... am not in the mood to receive a guest.

... It will be done, Master.

Pray walk with this humble self of mine, Heathcliff. Master has no wish to converse with anyone today.

There was always a look of pity in her eyes that gleamed from behind the veil. Pity meant for me, for Sinclair, and all of us Apprentices.

Why would a prisoner of the House of Spiders, forced to helplessly watch the fast-approaching end of her own life, still have pity to spare for us?

None of the Apprentices seemed to know the answer to that question.

Not even Sinclair, her own Apprentice and caretaker.

I had long given up on having that part of the mystery answered, but... as it turns out, whenever Master began to ramble, she had a hard time stopping herself.

It was one of those days when Master beat me until the bones of my limbs cracked and fractured, this time because I accidentally spoke too casually to... Miss Don Quixote, having mistaken her to be a fellow titleless Apprentice and not an officially anointed Proxy of the Index.

Downing a few bottles of liquor had activated her tongue, and she began telling another story she could not end. I braced myself, expecting another long-winded recounting of the Smoke War, only to be struck by something else entirely...

It was about her "Golden Ticket."

Ya... Ya gotta thank Ticket, ya hear me?

She's the only reason ya didn't end up another dead vagrant in that Backstreets...

It's all 'cuz of what happened to Ticket after she ran away from home.

Ran away from home, Master? The very same who fled from the House after "completing all of those tasks single-handedly"?

... Fuck, Heathcliff. Didya really have to bring up that bitch when I'm drinkin'? Ya sure know how to make good booze taste like shit, don'tcha?

Apologies, Master.

Bitch takes after her mommy, that's why.

Yeah, come to think of it... Ticket couldn't take it either. Scampered off alone into that wide, unforgiving world out there as if that place was any kinder.

*puff*

See, though the House of Spiders is kinda like a retirement home for the has-beens... We ain't nobodies, ya know?

This is the Finger's casino, and they're all waiting for the Jackpot to drop, ya catch my drift? All five Fingers've got their eyes on this project.

Someone with such aptitude just up and leaving the House of Spiders... You can imagine the kind of shit that stirred up.

The Fingers... tracked her down?

Yeah. The Thumb, the Index, and all kinds of motherfuckers the City has to offer went snappin' at her heels until she couldn't take it anymore... and returned home.

Comin' home with a baby in her arms was a bit fucked up, but... Whatever, right?

She wasn't dead, and the Project was now back on track. Or so we thought.

'Cuz it was "too late" or something, accordin' to Yi Sang.

That's when I first learned that the Pinky motherfuckers can't use another Relic once they've chosen one for themselves.

And Ticket, well... Tsk, she picked the Dihui Star's Blade over Tiansha Star's.

We were fucked beyond any chance of redemption. Whatever our bosses ended up dishing out, we had to take it.

Good thing she ended up passing on that unique aptitude to that mongrel brat of hers.

So, we decided to start over from scratch with the new girl.

Speeding things along with a workaround.

Ah, then the "new girl," is the one who is currently away from the House - ?

Yeah. Yoshihide, that bitch.

What if she chooses to simply... never return, Master?

Hah, I'm not worried. She'll be back.

'Cuz she's got somethin' Ticket doesn't.

And that's all she ever said on that matter. She quietly downed a few more bottles before sleep took her.

Something "Ticket" doesn't have, but Yoshihide does...

It was a riddle without a clue, let alone an answer.

The first threads that formed the solution came later, when I had the opportunity to face Yoshihide as her "Textbook."

I won't lose... Not to you.

I've watched and heard the same things you've been taught until they're etched into my memories.

... Get out of my way.

I'm not wasting any more time on my inferior copy.

... Oi, lass. Lemme ask ya somethin'.

Yoshihide had sought asylum in an upstart enterprise called Limbus Company.

I found the records of the assistance they provided her - securing an infiltration route into the House of Spiders, in-depth research projects into Relics, and the like.

In short, it seemed at the time that the company was committed to helping Yoshihide.

When I'd first begun my investigation at the behest of my master, it felt as though I was uncovering the fringes of an unknown, significant force gearing up to help Yoshihide strike the House of Spiders down with overwhelming might.

But the more my investigation progressed, it soon became obvious that no such calamity would come to pass.

Limbus Company refused to provide Yoshihide any further support beyond that,

and they'd even cancelled the so-called "Operation Spider Pyre."

So... what is it that keeps her moving?

... Why are you clawin' your way back home, anyway?

After the way they've treated you... why?

Now that her plan to involve an external party had fallen through...

... there was no chance that Yoshihide, no matter how hard she tried, would be able to overcome the combined might of all Nursefathers and Apprentices.

Yoshihide had to have known that - she was no fool. But she pursued the Backdoor to the House of Spiders nonetheless.

As though it had always been her plan to take on the House all by herself.

Because, in that hell...

... awaits someone who is more precious to me than anything in the world.

And the monsters I hate just as much.

Because without severing all of those threads that bind me...

... I can never truly be free from there.

.......

... Why don't you run away yourself?

It's obvious they're treating you like an animal. I can see it on you. That's how bad it is.

That's...

I could not answer Yoshihide's question, even as our duel came to an end with her shoving me to the ground.

How could I, when even my own heart was foreign to me then?

When I did not recognize all the times I had decided to put an end to it, only to find a convenient excuse to dally and postpone?

The first time I truly began to ponder Yoshihide's question...

... was after the Pinky Nursefather and Sinclair had betrayed the House of Spiders.

You serious about goin' with that lady? Turnin' your back on us?

C'mon. I know your master don't beat you like mine does, but she's hardly been kind to you.

Because this moment, had I allowed it to pass, would have lingered for the rest of my life as a profound regret.

What?

My master treated me with such aversion, yes...

Yet it was not for the lack of affection, as it is with your own Nursefather.

It is only that she has seen far too often what happens to those she cares about.

Thus I pose the selfsame question to you:

Why do you pledge your loyalty to her, still?

You have already done all the duty that true propriety demands of you. What more ought you repay?

I've... I have? Me?

... Let the end of your wandering be swift and conclusive.

When that time comes, even the simplest causality shall appear opaque, even the path laid before you cloaked as though under a haze.

My humble self shall now depart. Pray, do not pursue us.

I have already given her all that my heart could pour out,

and I have served her with utter propriety that my mind could afford.

If all of that were still insufficient to fill the void in her heart, then what could?

What she wanted - fame, honour, recognition - I could not give.

Acknowledgement from a thing so lowly as myself would mean nothing to her.

Then...

If there really is no other way...

I sink deeper into the well of my own mind, and at its bed I find Yoshihide's parting words to me.

Will Master one day come to regret her actions and change herself?

... No, she won't.

Should I choose to leave, here and now, would I find true freedom?

No, I can... never truly be free like that.

... Maybe the only way to really be free is... to end it all with my own hands.

Even on that day, I could not say out loud what or whom it was that I wanted to end.

But whether that was my master or myself...

... there was a low but impulsive voice, a tight pull from the pit of my stomach telling me maybe I could finally put an end to this, whatever that looked like.

So, I put a makeshift splint on my broken leg and hobbled through the Backdoor.

And that brings us to the present.

First came the self-loathing.

Then the exhilaration of finally having gotten it over with.

And... now that all was said and done, came aimlessness.

... What do I do now?

I stand before Yoshihide and watch as she endlessly severs away at the world around her. There is no light behind her eyes.

A sad end to someone who has lost the most precious thing in the world to her. A living corpse animated only by its unquenchable wrath and hatred until even that fury lost any meaning it once had.

I... don't want to be here anymore.

This place has a way of driving people completely mad.

Suddenly, a terrible omen strikes through me - if I dally here any longer, it will mean my ruin. I hurriedly scan around me for what remains of the House.

After all, the Backstreets makes for a cold home for the poor, no matter what terrible violence I have suffered here.

.......

... I ain't sure which of these'll fetch me a nice coin.

Guess I'll pocket them shiny bits, and those expensive bottles of liq -

My heart sinks the moment I catch a glimpse of her liquor bar.

A mere glance, and the floodgate of my memories cracks open with little resistance; I recall the sensation of those same glass bottles breaking into a thousand, lacerating shards against my head... and Master, downing bottle after bottle like she was throwing back water.

Revulsion, too, rears its head. Reality settles around me, and I am nothing but a disgusting traitor who has acted out of impulse and run his sword through his master's heart, all for a desperate struggle to end it all.

Ah, I see...

If I am to be happy...

I shoved everything that seemed even remotely expensive into my pack.

I took Master's swords. Her eye, too.

I don't know if I'll pawn them off or use them myself, but...

... they're questions for another day. Today, I make a decision for myself.

.......

Yoshihide continues to cut away at nothing and everything all at once.

And there lies a cold, lifeless corpse at my feet...

I'll probably find more dead bodies not so far from here.

Yeah. I know what I must do. It's never been clearer than this.

If I do this, it'll all go away forever. No matter what I look at, it won't come back.

Free of desires, free of remorse.

Feeling the tangled web of emotions that once bound me fall away, unraveling...

... I leave my home in silence.