LIMBUSCOMPANY.TOOLS

E003I1

Limbus Kindergarten?
Dante

<Huh, we can get stuff other than meat from them?>

YuriDietitian

Of course. Bongy have a habit of collecting and storing ingredients near their home in their lower bodies.

What lower body...? The limbs?

I looked up toward the Perky Penguins, once again diving deep into my well of memories to see if these Bongy things even had a lower body...

Gregor

*sigh* Guys...

... and saw Gregor, poking at a Bongy's carcass stripped of flesh.

At a glance, it may have appeared as nothing more than an everyday childish curiosity, but there was a solemn look on the kid's face that gave me pause.

Rodion

Hey, Greg~ Don't touch that! Yucky, yucky.

Dante

<"Yucky"? You're about to make food from that, you know...?>

Rodion

Huh? Uh, uhm... Bongy looks fat and juicy, but...

Rodion

... after you get all the meat off, it looks like... ewie, looks like a buggy! Yuck!

Gregor

Bwehhh!!!

And so, Gregor began bawling.

Dante

<Rodya! You're being mean! Apologize to Gregor, now!>

... Bugs and Gregor crying... I wasn't sure how these two things were related, but a voice in me urged me to demand that Rodya apologize to Gregor.

Rodion

Huhh? B-but what'd I do...?

Gregor

*sob* Appl - apowogize!

Rodion

Ugh. Okay, okay... sowwy. I'm sowwy, 'kay?

Rodion

Sowwy about calling your big, meaty claws "buggy," 'kay~? So quit cryin' -

Gregor

Waaaaaah!!! It's n-not b-*hic*bug, It's n-not buggy...!

Rodion

Sheesh... why won't he quit crying...? Y-you hungry or something? Wan tasty food?

Dante

<Do you really not understand why...?>

As Rodya was struggling to calm Gregor down, light, even footsteps approached me from behind.

Meursault

Principal.

Dante

<Y-yes, sir?>

Something about the way the low, level voice spoke struck me as oddly familiar, so I whipped around to see who it came from.

Yeah, there's no way we're running this place with two teachers. This has to be the third teacher who's managing one of the other classes -

... But I saw no one.

Meursault

Down here.

The voice was low. In terms of height, that is.

Dante

<Oh. Hey, Meursault.>

Meursault

That is me. The meal is now prepared. I have come to fetch you, Principal.

Dante

<That's uh, ha ha. You've got a pretty baritone voice for a kid...>

This kid doesn't even talk like a toddler...

Meursault

Thank you for the compliment.

Dante

<.......>

Meursault

I will lead the Perky Penguins to the venue. Seat yourself at the chaperone's chair in the kitchen and oversee the proceedings.

Meursault

Sinnerling Outis, the Class Captain, is already at the venue.

Dante

<O-okay... Thanks.>

... Flabbergasted, I stared at Meursault walking toward Rodya and Gregor in that steady, even pace, then made my way into the kitchen.

Kindergarten Kitchen?
Dante

<The kitchen's a real mess, huh...>

Outis

A mess?! Executive Teach, errything is where it outta be!

Is it...?

Hmm, something about this place feels oddly familiar, too... I guess this is how this place has always looked?

Dante

<Ahem. So... what kind of dish are you preparing, class?>

Meursault

We have prepared a Bongy Fwit.

Oh, so he's still getting used to words that are hard to pronounce.

Hang on, why'd he say that in past tense?

Dante

<Wait, but Rodya and Gregor just got here, didn't they? Weren't they a part of your team, too? I guess Gregor might be a bit too young to start cooking, but...>

Meursault

Allow me to explain, Principal. Sinnerling Rodya was intentionally excluded from the cooking process under suspicion of causing a repeated loss of ingredients.

Rodion

Whaa?! Whaddaya take me fow?!

Rodion

Big Teach! Kick Merr's butt!

Meursault

She has just consumed another one of the Bongy drumsticks.

Outis

Teach 'er a lesson, Executive Teach!

Dante

<... That's it. Rodya, go sit in the corner there. It's the time-out chair for you.>

Rodion

Whaa?! Why?! But... but if dere's food, I gotta get it into my mauth, or... they'll be all gone! And I'm gonna starve and die!

... Is that really something a child of her age should be saying? Just what kind of awful condition has she been living in?

Dante

<Too bad, but I can't let it slide when I just saw you sneaking away with a drumstick. Off to the corner, now.>

Rodion

Hnnngh... But I gave away cwookies! I was a good girl!!!

Outis

Is the diwect orders from the Executive Teach! To the corner now, you-you embawassed the Perky Penguins!

Outis might be going a bit overboard...

YuriDietitian

Ha ha. Kids'll be kids, huh? All part of the learning process.

... I looked at Miss Yuri, but she only wore an innocent, kindly smile one might have when watching children play their silly games.

YuriDietitian

Okay, then... Meursault? Will you do the honors of explaining this dish to us?

Meursault

Yes. As today's ordorbrr...

The explanation continued for a while with a similar level of incomprehensibility. Did he mean hors d'oeuvres...?

As I listened, I became increasingly suspicious whether these were the vocabulary and loquaciousness of a toddler, but...

Once I saw a smugly satisfied Outis return from her "arrest," after having properly "restained" the "perperrator," Rodya...

... only to produce a crayon and a massive sketch pad from who-knows-where and begin a whole lecture on how this dish came to be, well...

Eventually, I stopped thinking.

This is just the kind of world I live in, I guess.

YuriDietitian

Okay~ Thank you so much for explaining it, everyone!

YuriDietitian

Now, Miss Yuri will try a bite -

YuriDietitian

Hm? Oh, looks like there's something you haven't explained yet, Meursault.

YuriDietitian

What is this... thing, on top of your dish?

Miss Yuri pointed at an unfamiliar object standing upright atop the dish, almost like a birthday candle.

Wait, isn't that what Gregor's been picking up earlier...?

Gregor

Now... Heh... They won't be fowgetted.

Dante

<It's a lower limb of a Bongybug - >

BAM!

In the blink of an eye, Meursault's fist slammed down upon the delectable fried Bongy and turned it into shapeless mush, alongside the unfamiliar object...

Dante

<M-Meursault!?>

Outis

Executive Teach! I-I can explain thith! Issa, uhh - !

Outis

Sinnerling Meursault! Expwain! Was this desucctive perfornance part of this gasronomical experrance?

Outis

Speak! What is the name of this dish!?

Meursault

Le Plat-doo-joor.

Meursault

... Mashy Fried Bongy.

Dante

<…….>

Dante

<It's the time-out chair for all of you, too! Go sit!>

The first contestants' food was completely wasted...

Limbus Kindergarten?
Dante

<Phewie...>

I had walked out of the kitchen to get some fresh air and cool my head when someone tugged at my pants.

I looked down to find...

Dante

<Oh hi, Yi Sang.>

Yi Sang

Yesh, it is I, Yi Sang. Dante. Big Teesh.

Dante

<... Right. Still getting used to calling me by my title, huh?>

Yi Sang

Issat odd?

Dante

<Nah... it's okay. What's up?>

Yi Sang

Cheery Chickies is reddy for da hans-on class. Will you help, Dante? Uh, Big Teesh?

I can see the other Sinnerlings in the distance, all wearing yellow "Cheery Chickies" backpacks.

Heathcliff

Hee hee hee! Issa leggy billy! Hee hee hee!

Ishmael

Big T! Big T! Heathcliff - Heathcliff's - ! Eeeep! Hey, quit swinging! You're spraying chicken juice evewywhere!

Sinclair

Bwo! Cap! Ishmael and Heathcliff are fighting again!

Dante

<... They are ready, right?>

Yi Sang

... This ish as ideal as it gets, Big Teesh Dante.

I feel like my head's about to burst into flames... I mean, more so than usual, I guess.