S1025B
So nice to meet you, Dante.
This is the first time we've met each other so up close, isn't it?
<...!>
Unlike the faint murmur I've heard before, the same voice now tickled and warmed my proverbial ear with the clarity of someone whispering right into it. At the same time, it felt as though the voice were speaking from an impossibly far-away place, every word echoing just for me.
As though I've finally been made to discover the resonance... that had been calling out to me for so, so long. Yes, that's how it felt...
... Manager.
Please step back. Do not answer the voice.
Prolonged exposure... to the sunshine... is inadvisable...
Meursault's warning was firm and crystal clear - despite that, I found myself unable to take so much as a single step away from the wall.
And I wasn't the only one. Hong Lu and Don Quixote stood rooted in their spots as though something pinned them to the ground - in fact, it appeared that they could not move a single muscle or even move to cover their ears and block out the voice.
Meur... I can see you're not happy to hear from me, as always.
But you know... maybe you shouldn't let your personal distaste for me dictate whether I should or shouldn't chat with your friends. Isn't that the sort of judgmental behavior about right and wrong that you so dislike?
Surrounded by the silence of the living room, I sat absentmindedly in a patch of sunlight peering through a gap in the windowsill.
The vacuum of what was once there. The warm chill circulating the air. The sun.
Then... suddenly, warm sunshine filled my vision, as though I had opened my eyes in a park at midday.
It was so boundlessly bright... that I raised my hand to shield my eyes.
... It's blinding.
If my light dazzles you, it's only because you've been in the dark for so long.
.......
.......
I like to think I've spoken with my fair share of buttoned-up people, Meursault... ... but you've got to be the most taciturn out of them all.
It must've been so suffocating. Tens of thousands of thoughts howling under that quiet, taciturn demeanor... ... and no one stopped to listen, did they? Even if they had, I don't suppose they would have understood how the world reflects in your eyes.
The curtain of sunshine talked to me in a beautiful voice. Bright. Uplifting.
It sympathized with the things in my mind that no one understood. It laid bare the thoughts that I had never shown another soul.
I knew I must not answer the voice... yet my lips quivered against my will.
I see. You've chosen to cover your ears and squeeze your eyes shut.
But Meursault... If it could be unheard by covering your ears, if it could be unseen by closing your eyes... ... then that was probably never the sunlight to begin with.
You see, the light that my favorite junior worked so hard to fire up into the sky, to plant... ... shines down everywhere, on everyone. It doesn't discriminate.
.......
All I want is to offer you a choice. You can always say no if you don't like what you hear.
Air leaks from my lungs in uncontrolled bursts of gasps - ecstatic, joyful, thrilled, hoping. With every breath I take, the warm, feel-good emotions enter my nose and pool in the back of my throat.
Somewhere in my heart, I count to 10, trying to contain them. Then, in my head, 20. I imagine ranks upon ranks of absurdities. Nothing works. My vocal cords, heated to the roots by the inescapable sunlight, start to tingle excitedly.
... What...
... What do you offer?
Can you imagine what it'd be like... to be peeled away from this terrifying world? All by yourself.
What if you no longer had to wrap those chains around yourself... no longer be nailed beneath anyone's gaze, no longer captured by others or bound by "common sense"?
I am undressed, naked in the light. The sunshine reveals all secrets, and it whispers to me the one thing that I've truly wanted.
No more minding the gaze of others. No more minding the thoughts of others. You could simply be yourself... live as yourself.
That is... impossible.
You're right. The City has never allowed such a thing.
You couldn't possibly have known how. Couldn't find the path. To you, the world remained foreign; however many times you struck against it, its only response was silence... rendering you mute.
But a new era has come, bearing this sunlight. A new age where you can howl as loudly as you wish, and... people will listen.
.......
Let me help you. Even if yours is a color no other person can understand, even if that color remains only in your eyes... I'll still help you paint the world with it.
... Did you make the same offer to my mother?
Similar, maybe... but not the same. People like to think they understand one another, think they're kindred spirits... But in the end, they understand nothing about others - they can't. We're all our own beings, after all.
The cheerful voice seemed to scratch an itch buried deep in my heart, somewhere no hand could ever reach.
You can get your wish. And that begins by being honest about the feelings bubbling inside you right this moment.
It's all right, Meur. You're allowed to give voice... to that emotion.
The sunshine...
.......
... is chattier than I expected.
Irritatingly so.
I tried to make my discomfort as evident as possible in my reply...
... But still there was a hint of laughter in the sunshine, full of cheer.
.......
I don't turn my back on anyone. Besides... the children in this department store need sunlight. They need warm, gentle sunlight to shine on them.
These children... they derive their existence from the fact that someone is gazing at them. That is their wish, and I simply intend to grant it.
Imagine it, Meursault. Imagine these stuffy ceilings and walls falling away to reveal the world outside. Everyone gets to rest together in a warm patch of sunshine, taking in the vast sky above.
.......
Still so quiet. You haven't changed at all since then.
Dante, I suppose you'll have to work a little harder as their Manager.
<... Me?>
Manager. Do not respond.
<S-sorry, I don't know why I did...>
As for Meursault... He may change yet... by the end of this round of the journey at your side.
I'm looking forward to it.