Hohenheim (after battle)

We went through various tests, including command ability trials using Peccatula Invidiae…

Hark, Manager Esquire! Heigh-ho! I have attained a score most perfect!

Mm… to be surpassed by Miss Don Quixote in a contest of knowledge… Must I delve further in my studies…?

Hey, Yi Sang. Bud. They were testing our Fixer Association knowledge, huh?

Totally~ Honestly, she's got more than enough Fixer fixation for the entire bus.

All kinds of general knowledge, trivia quizzes…

What's the first thing you focus on when meeting a new person?

… The look in their eyes? How strong they look? Bloody hell, this ain't easy.

Your leadership style is…

Strong, decisive, and goal-oriented.

You are, Meursault…?

We were finally allowed a quick break after going through all kinds of mysterious, strange personality tests as well.

Next - basic fitness test for all Sinners. We can finally get started on the real meat of this check-up.

Wait, then what were all those tests you guys were running on us?

They were conducted in order to collect various data that the LCE Department has been missing. In other words… we capitalized on this opportunity to fulfill our private curiosities.

Still, I'd say it was very productive! We now know a lot about you guys that'll help us support the LCB going forward.

Alright, we're gonna go over some tests that can be conducted in groups first. Please form a line here.

W-what, like this?

Let's get this over with. Looks like we've got a long day ahead of us.

Wow, these are some comfy clothes they've given us.

Right? I could totally see myself wearin' these to sleep.

To sleep...? They're LCE property, so you better return them as soon as we're done here.

Gotcha. By the way, can ya take a look at my wrist here before we actually get started? I've been feelin' a bit of soreness there, but Dante won't turn the clock for just me, y'know?

Turning of the clock for such trivialities may cause the formation of an unfavorable habit... perhaps Meursault can remedy your pain.

I am always prepared to administer necessary aid, should you request it.

A-actually, ya know what? I'm totally fine now~! Don'tcha worry!

Please stand still. If you think I can't see some of you on your tiptoes, you'd be very wrong. Heels on the ground, please.

But... My heels are on the ground?

Fie…

And uh... can you snuff out your cigarettes before the test begins?

Oh, this one isn't lit. It's just there so I can… look cool…

Aha…

… And what about -

Bold. But scram.

O-okay. So the basic group tests are complete.

…….

I seem to have forgotten something quite important I had to establish prior to beginning the tests in earnest.

I need an assistant.

<An assistant?>

I need an assistant to help me smooth out the testing procedures.

Uh… ya got two of 'em already. Right behind you, if ya need directions.

Oh, we're not Mr. Hohenheim's assistants. We're specifically assistant researchers.

Yes, of course. There is much that distinguishes these two occupations.

I would like for one of you to be my assistant for the duration of this check-up…

Rodya suddenly raised her hand.

I wasn't planning on asking for volunteers, but… now that you've raised your hand, I'll give you the floor.

Don't ask me to do it. It's just not my vibes, ya know? I'll take a researcher job, though. I'm a big fan of her style.

Rodya trailed off, greedily caressing the clothes of one of the researchers.

What… what are you doing…?

… I didn't really have you in mind anyway, but duly noted nonetheless.

I would also like to refuse your nomination.

The position of an assistant to Hohenheim implies that the said assistant is, when it comes to skill, inferior to the person they are assisting.

Again, I didn't have you in mind either, but your passionate expression of intent is nonetheless appreciated.

Tsk, I wonder who came up with this brilliant idea of putting two smartarses together to waste time pointing out each other's minor mistakes?

U-uh, if I were to talk about myself, I want to open by saying that I was a class vice-president in school, a diligent model student who assiduously facilitated the tasks of the class president in -

Ahem, ahem...

What's with everyone getting so anxious to get picked here?

Do you fellas actually want to be his assistant…? Getting in the front and center of things is just bothersome, you know?

I… kinda felt like I had to apply for the position, for some reason…

Well, the decision has already been made. Do note that the selection criteria is fully based on my very subjective opinion.

You there, orange-haired Sinner…

Ishmael almost threw me to the ground as she confidently strode up to the front of the line.

<Oof…>

Greetings, Mr. Hohenheim. As you must be aware if you've taken a look at my documents, I've rarely let anyone down during my various tenures at Offices and Associations. You'll have nothing to worry as long as I'm by your side.

Also, can I add this experience to my resume if I ever get a chance to submit a transfer request to work at the headquarters?

Didn't know you were still holding onto that hope.

I… called on you to ask you to move, because you were standing in front of the Sinner I chose.

…….

Everyone turned around to look at Heathcliff, who was absentmindedly scratching at the bridge of his nose.

Huh?

Me… huh? Me?

It seemed that Ishmael was even more shocked than Heathcliff was.

Wait, but… wha… but… why? I'm right here, why would you pick someone like…

It is a common misconception among many researchers…

… to assume that the higher their level of education and the more elaborate their resume, the better candidate one makes for a research project participant.

B-but... but that's just common sense, isn't it? At least when it comes to research...?

However, were you aware that most great discoveries are made from a potent mix of spontaneity and intuition?

A perfect descriptor for our friend here, I would say.

Uh… uhh…

What say you, Heathcliff? I believe that this aggressive and passionate approach of yours gives you more than sufficient qualification to command and lead them in my stead.

Uhm… Is… is that right?

He replied, scratching his head.

Be honest now, Yi Sang. Ya were kinda lookin' forward to getting picked, weren'tcha?

…….

It is but fate that things that were once good in the eyes of the mainstream are to be made less desirable with the passage of time.

And when one does indeed fall out of favor, the intelligentsia of the bygone days must rightly excuse themselves to the realm of memories and past…

Yi Sang replied with a particularly downcast look.

I am glad to have you on board as my new assistant.

Righty-ho. So… uh, ahem. What have I got to do now?

Nothing too complicated. You only need to liberally express your free spirit, just as you are now.

Aha, now I see what he's doing.

Hohenheim sure knows which one of the group to coax to make things go over smoothly.

Marton whispered quietly at me in a voice that only I could hear.