The Assistant (before battle)

Heathcliff seemed eager to, as Hohenheim had suggested, express his 'free spirit' to the best of his capabilities.

Right, you there! Get in line! Single file, lads! Let's make this easy for all of us!

But aren't you also participating in the test with the rest of us, Heathcliff?

Y-yeah, but… I'm the assistant!

Since when do you wear glasses?

Glasses are basic apparatuses of all researchers.

Look, slightly pushing up on the glasses helps to put on the air of a studious, learned individual. Like so.

Just like how slightly pushing up the frames of my glasses while wondering what to have for lunch makes it seem as though I am contemplating on the more profound aspects of life.

Oi, let's not make this any harder than it's gotta be, lass. Snuff out that cig in your mouth.

Been a while since I heard a pig squeal.

Blimey, can't you just do as I say for once?!!!

<Huh, he's actually pretty effective…>

Hm… it seems that we are now ready to conduct the tests. Finally.

The primary purpose of this test…

... is to see, on a physical level, how your current abilities scale compared to yourselves before your hiring.

<I see… so they're trying to see how much they've progressed since before they joined the company…?>

I had a feeling this would happen, but the mere mention of the words 'progression' caused a rather loud ruckus among the Sinners.

If I were to speak for myself, Executive Manager, I can confidently say that the thought of progressing as a person and in all aspects of life is ingrained into my very being.

Thus, as a fruit of those efforts, I have grown to be much more precise and scathing in my critique of others' mistakes.

<Is that… progress, though?>

Mm...

Perhaps I have learned to let certain thoughts rest in favor of others.

I once allowed myself to be trapped in overlong ruminations on worries of all manners, idly abiding as I was consumed by my very thoughts...

... now, I have come to accept certain things as they are.

<Ooh…>

And I've come to… sometimes, allow my mind to form bereft of rigorous reason.

Floating away gently, as though on a rolling stream… Is that not quite pleasant?

<Ah... Okay. I... guess that is progression, of sorts…>

I'm pretty sure I'm less of a picky eater than I used to be.

My grip strength is much stronger, too…

Ooh~

Look, look. I think I'm getting calluses on my palms.

Well, you don't really have to try to prove it to us…

… because the enemies we're fighting have been getting stronger, too. That's an undeniable truth.

We did experience a pretty spectacular year, you know.

A brutal year, yet so potent with significance.

<Hm, true. I guess growth really does come with time, huh…>

Right? I feel like the bonds between us got a lot deeper. We've all grown closer, you know? Like glue.

Like glue, huh. I like it.

Ah, a certain misunderstanding seems to be brewing in tandem with this uplifting exchange of heart-to-hearts; allow me to step in and nip it in the bud.

Let me give it to you straight…

All of your abilities were diminished the moment you were hired by this company. Equally defanged and depowered, if you will.

Equally... defanged?

In other words, all of your abilities have been brought down to the… ah, yes. To the same general level as our eleventh Sinner here.

... Why am I your point of reference?

Ah, if this is what you meant earlier by "growing closer, like glue", then I suppose it was quite the apt choice of words.

Oi, take that back.

… I take it back.

… not! So you're not really that much stronger than I am, huh?

Woooow, Sinc. Is that the sound of your sense of self-preservation shattering into the ether?

That's it, you bloody c -

Excuse me! I need to know why that happened.

Did we all get depowered because of the Golden Bough? Wait, does this have anything to do with those chains that appeared when we first entered into a contract with Dante…?

Indeed. One of the powers of a Golden Bough is 'connection'.

You are now all fairly, evenly, and equally…

mediocre.

…….

Hohenheim's comment and the subsequent stare seemed a bit targeted…

Think of it as something akin to Qliphoth Deterrence employed by the Lobotomy Corporation.

So, the truth is finally revealed. This was why I, Outis, grew so pathetically weak the moment I joined this company.

Art thou implying that thou hast always known?

Of course! Had I been in my prime, I could've wiped the floor with you miserable doormats in a matter of seconds.

… You wipe floors with doormats?

Man, we're all so prone to saying whatever once the burden of proof is gone, huh?

Hah... So that's why my murderous arm's been quiet ever since they hired me. It didn't really have anything to do with my heart, after all...

<Gregor…>

Oi, what's the use of all this chatter?! What matters is that we've all been brought down to the level of the lad.

But… I got calluses on my palms…

Yet… not all of the Golden Bough's effects must have been of detriment to us.

Yi Sang started, carefully attempting to navigate through a conversation that appeared to be turning into a tinderbox.

Was it not the advantages granted to us by the Golden Bough impaled in the Pallid Whale of the Great Lake by which we triumphed?

Wha? Really?

Correct. Had the Pallid Whale been at its full strength, it is highly likely that we may still have been trapped inside its stomach, struggling to survive.

Also, it can also be said that the diminishing effect was not applied in equal measure across all affected subjects.

That makes sense, I guess. I never coulda knocked Heath out with one punch if I was only as strong as Sinc. It's a real handy trick, ya know?

…….

Additionally, certain individual quirks cannot be suppressed by the Golden Bough.

Certain quirks that one may consider to be an individual's 'idiosyncrasies'.

Ohhh~ So that explains Ryōshū's impressive bladework with Mr. Bumble back at the T Corp. factory!

Heh… Won't waste my breath boasting.

<You never do anyway.>

Well, if your strengths have indeed progressed since the onboarding, then the average must have risen as well. One of the purposes of these tests is to measure that very difference.

So what exactly goes into these tests? I know there's a District that uses a machine that can analyze most aspects of the subject with a quick scan, so is it going to be something like that?

There are dozens, if not hundreds of ways to determine one's abilities without the assistance of machinery. Ah, in fact, I know of a perfectly appropriate methodology for this group.

<A perfectly appropriate methodology…?>

We spent some time out of our busy schedules to tailor each test for each Sinner of the LCB.

That was pretty tough, I'll have you guys know.

Tailored tests for each Sinner, huh… I don't really like the sound of that, if you ask me.

We…

… will utilize the Peccatula… and the Distortion phenomenon.

Huh. That doesn't sound much like some super innovative method you were building up to. What a letdown…

Right? Honestly, for all their talk, I thought they'd come up with something more impressive than that…

… Assistant?

Alright, that's enough chatter! Now get in there!